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	<title>ETF2L &#8211; Latest activity in &#8220;Flight B206 to Dublin&#8221;</title>
	<link>https://staging.etf2l.org/forum/off-topic/topic-15561/</link>
	<description><![CDATA[The latest posts to this topic.]]></description>
    	<item>
    	    <title>Reply by -Flush-</title>
    	    <link>https://staging.etf2l.org/forum/off-topic/topic-15561/page-1/?recent=275496#post=275496</link>
    	    <description><![CDATA[arrogant german ground controller was the best one :DD]]></description>
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    	    <pubDate>Mon, 07 Feb 2011 14:34:10 +0100</pubDate>
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    	    <title>Reply by ViQun</title>
    	    <link>https://staging.etf2l.org/forum/off-topic/topic-15561/page-1/?recent=275496#post=275443</link>
    	    <description><![CDATA[Haha I have selection for ATC school in March.]]></description>
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    	    <pubDate>Mon, 07 Feb 2011 11:32:02 +0100</pubDate>
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    	    <title>Reply by dr icecream</title>
    	    <link>https://staging.etf2l.org/forum/off-topic/topic-15561/page-1/?recent=275496#post=275435</link>
    	    <description><![CDATA[This was amusing :D]]></description>
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    	    <pubDate>Mon, 07 Feb 2011 10:37:42 +0100</pubDate>
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    	    <title>Reply by DouGie</title>
    	    <link>https://staging.etf2l.org/forum/off-topic/topic-15561/page-1/?recent=275496#post=275419</link>
    	    <description><![CDATA[I have a feeling I don't want to read that :D]]></description>
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    	    <pubDate>Mon, 07 Feb 2011 08:32:18 +0100</pubDate>
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    	    <title>Reply by Koeitje</title>
    	    <link>https://staging.etf2l.org/forum/off-topic/topic-15561/page-1/?recent=275496#post=275404</link>
    	    <description><![CDATA[How many Irish men does it take to screw in a light bulb?














10, 1 to hold the bulb and 9 to get drunk enough to make the room spin.]]></description>
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    	    <pubDate>Mon, 07 Feb 2011 03:39:22 +0100</pubDate>
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    	    <title>Reply by Aveng</title>
    	    <link>https://staging.etf2l.org/forum/off-topic/topic-15561/page-1/?recent=275496#post=275403</link>
    	    <description><![CDATA[I got an email with a load of these the other week, so i will post them here, beware there are a lot

    Actual exchanges between pilots and control towers 

    Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
    Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
    
---

    Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."
    TWA  2341: "Center, we are at 35,000 feet.. how much noise can we make up here?"
    Tower: "Sir,  have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"

---

From  an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff  queue:  

 "I'm f...ing bored!"
Ground  Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown  aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"

----

O'Hare  Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles,  Eastbound."
United  329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this...I've got the little Fokker in sight."  

-----

 A  student became lost during a solo cross-country  flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on  radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?"
Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."  

----

A  DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an  exceedingly long roll out after touching down.
San  Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport"

---

A  Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in   Munich , overheard the following:

Lufthansa (in  German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground  (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."
Lufthansa  (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"
  Unknown  voice from another plane (in a beautiful British  accent): "Because you lost the bloody  war!"

---

Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7"
Eastern  702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way,after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."
Tower:  "Continental  635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact  Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?"
Continental  635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern. We've already notified our caterers."  

---

One  day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the  tower to hold short of the active runway while a  DC-8 landed.. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned  around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some  quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the  radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"
The  Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by,  came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like  yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."  

---

The  German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are  renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only  expect one to know one's gate parking location, but  how to get there without any assistance from them.  So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747)  listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt  ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign  Speedbird 206.
  Speedbird  206: " Frankfurt, Speedbird 206. Clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."
 The  BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a  stop.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are  going?"
Speedbird  206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground  (with quite arrogant  impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird  206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark...... and I didn't land."  

---

While  taxiing at London 's Airport,  the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft.  Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose  with a United 727..
 An  irate female ground controller lashed out at the US  Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you  to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!"
Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now  shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?"

"Yes, ma'am,"  the  humbled crew responded.

Naturally,  the ground control communications frequency fell  terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air  2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate  ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was  definitely running high Just then an unknown pilot  broke the silence and keyed his microphone,  asking:

"Wasn't I married to you once?"]]></description>
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    	    <pubDate>Mon, 07 Feb 2011 03:35:44 +0100</pubDate>
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    	<item>
    	    <title>Created by Koeitje</title>
    	    <link>https://staging.etf2l.org/forum/off-topic/topic-15561/page-1/?recent=275496#post=275401</link>
    	    <description><![CDATA[As Flight B206 approached Dublin number 1 runway, the tower heard:

PILOT - Bjeesus will ya look how fookin shart dat runway is?
CO-PILOT - Yer nat fookin kiddin, Paddy

PILOT - Dis is ganna be one a de trickiest landings ever, Shamus!
CO-PILOT - Yer nat fookin kiddin, Paddy !!

PILOT - Right, Shamus, when I say 'go' put de engine in reverse!!
CO-PILOT - Royt, I'll do dat !!

PILOT - An den ya put de flaps down!!
CO-PILOT - Royt, I'll do dat, too !!

PILOT - An den stamp an de brakes as hard as yer can an pray ta de Holy Mudder a Gad !!!
CO-PILOT - I'm prayin already, but I'll hit de brakes as hard as I can.

So, as the wheels hit the ground, Shamus put the engines in reverse,puts the flaps down, stamped on the brakes and continued to pray to the Holy Mother with all his soul. The brakes screeched, the tyres squealed, and there was smoke everywhere, but, to the relief of all the passengers, and, not least of all, Paddy and Shamus, the aircraft came to a stop but only a few metres from the end of the runway!!!

As Paddy and Shamus sat in the cockpit regaining some composure, Paddy looked out of the window and said to Shamus, "Dat has gat ta be de shartist fookin runway in de world!"

Shamus replied, "Tis indeed Paddy, but da ya see how fookin wide it is?"]]></description>
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    	    <pubDate>Mon, 07 Feb 2011 03:28:20 +0100</pubDate>
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