Recruitment

  Fresh Skill, 6v6

G3moroy

Yo, boys. Looking for a stack for the next ETF2L season. Looking for a team that wants to play without suffocating meta, outdated tactics from 2015, and unnecessary stress. If your Medic is tired of healing boring, passive soldiers and wants a massive adrenaline rush—I’m your guy.Here is a quick story of my typical scrim day, just so you know what you're signing up for:04:15—I wake up to the sound of a random crit ringing in my head. Time to warm up: I pull off three flawless rocket jumps right from my bed straight through the window. I live on the ground floor, so only a lilac bush and common sense were harmed.12:00—Launching TF2. Guys, I don't use a mouse, that's for casuals. I mapped my sensitivity so that I control my crosshair using an old USB blender. Every time I hit an airshot, the blender goes Vroom-vroom and the enemy Scout goes back to spawn.15:00—Test match on cp_process. At exactly 0:01, I pull off a rocket jump so violent that I clip through the map textures, break free from the Source engine, fly into a CS2 lobby, and accidentally drop a sniper on mid. I fly right back into my match just as the mid-fight starts.The Last Stand: The enemy team drops an Uber, and my entire team is dead. I whip out the Beggar's Bazooka and load nine rockets instead of three. The server literally begins to cry, dropping everyone—including the Twitch viewers—to 5 FPS. I hold down spacebar, scream a high-pitched cover of "Katyusha" into my mic, and the enemy Medic uninstalls the game in pure panic. We clutch the round.